Jumping to this past Sunday's third hour at church. It was warm and sunny and I am in a season of my life where sometimes my toddler son doesn't quite make it through third hour ~ I get to walk him around in a buggie outside until he drifts asleep. I usually don't have any difficulty finding female companions to join me on nice days!
My ward family really feels like family. Here I've found the most beautiful, articulate successful and happy women, men and families I've ever known. They are a people filled with humility and love for one another and the Savior.
This particular Sunday, I sat with one of my friends and neighbors I had not seen in weeks. It was so good to reconnect! She's a stunning blonde, as tall and beautiful as a runway model with a sense of humor to boot. She spent a great deal of time on the east coast like me, takes her skiing seriously, and is a serious equestrian-aficionado as I was once. We can bond.
I caught her up on my first toe-dipping into middle-aged dating. Gushing in nostalgia over twenty-something dating and comparing/contrasting the differences, we had some giggles then the conversation turned to shoes. Then back to men. We talked about how women want just the right amount of naughty and nice. Don't we all want the bad boy and the alter boy? Or is that just me?
She talked some about red flags I should be on the lookout for during dating. Not wanting to be too harsh or take things too seriously, I renamed them "pink flags". Not quite red or orange. But maybe a little pink. A pink flag is like DEFCON 4. DEFCON is the United States Armed Forces alert-readiness system.
DEFCON 5 - Least Severe. Low defensive readiness level.
DEFCON 1 - Most Severe - Highest form of alert-readiness from defense system. Basically under attack.
Many people coming out of
a marriage or serious relationship probably enter dating at DEFCON 1 or at best DEFCON 2 and maybe stay there indefinitely then try and fail to find new connections over and over. I'm not quite sure what my DEFCON level is. I think it's blinking and malfunctioning at the moment. Needs re-calibrating. Maybe I ought to hold off on dating until I'm clear what my DEFCON status is..
~ then find someone at the same level.
My friend also recommended watching the movie Silver Linings Playbook. My first response was "I think it's rated R. Can I watch it on a Sunday?" I agreed to send her text play-by-plays of my thoughts on the movie as I watched it. Oh my heck! It - was - stinkin' - hilarious. Someone smarter than me put together a number of the bestest scenes from the film. I attached the 10 minute clip for you below (WARNING - there are tons of potty-mouth words in here. This clip is at least PG-13).
Silver Linings Playbook is a story of two broken souls in or coming out of grief and navigating a new friendship / relationship. The film makers exaggerate the typical female and male dynamics and add a whole lot of clinical crazy complete with PTSD, anxiety, OCD and the meds and even an institution related to all of this for effect. The ending turns out happy (and stable) for the protagonist and the two crazies seem to be oddly good together as they find their way back to sanity together.
Jennifer Lawrence won an Oscar for her role in this film.
Ciao!
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